Mary Dawn Andrews is the author of Small Cruelties, a memoir exploring childhood trauma, abusive relationships, and the long road to healing. A former medical technologist and software consultant, she draws on decades of recovery work—including therapy, ACA/Al‑Anon, and expressive writing—to help others understand the impact of “little‑t” traumas and find their own path toward peace and self‑compassion.
"We are shaped by the small cruelties we endure long before the big ones break us. But healing begins when we finally stop pretending they didn't happen." — Mary Dawn Andrews
Mary Dawn Andrews was born in East Syracuse, New York, in July. She grew up moving frequently due to her father’s aerospace engineering career, living in Alabama, Pennsylvania, and Texas. She earned a degree in Medical Technology and passed both national registry exams on her first attempt. She worked as a medical technologist in hospital laboratories for many years, later transitioning to laboratory software consulting and system management. She also completed prerequisites for an advanced psychology degree and pursued medical writing certification. A survivor of childhood trauma, domestic abuse, and chronic illness (fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, and autoimmune conditions), she has been actively involved in ACA/Al-Anon recovery programs and continues her healing journey through therapy and writing.
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Small Cruelties is a searing memoir of survival and slow healing. Mary Dawn Andrews traces her journey from a childhood marked by emotionally immature parents—an alcoholic mother and authoritarian father—through an abusive marriage, to her eventual understanding of complex trauma. With unflinching honesty, she connects the “little-t” cruelties of her upbringing to her patterns in relationships and her chronic physical illness. Drawing on psychological frameworks from Gibson, Herman, and Stark, Andrews offers both a personal testimony and a practical guide. The book’s power lies in its vulnerability: Andrews admits shame, mistakes, and ongoing struggles, yet maintains hope. It will resonate deeply with anyone who grew up feeling unseen, and offers validation that healing, however imperfect, is possible.
Explore the lasting impact of emotionally immature parents—from childhood wounds and abusive relationships through chronic illness to eventual healing, self-compassion, and hope.
Andrews introduces her “perfectly normal” family—religious, respectable, free-range childhood. But beneath appearances, her mother’s volatility and father’s emotional distance create confusion. She questions why her parents seem to dislike her, sensing something deeply wrong despite their “right” image.
Portrays her parents’ backgrounds: mother from a large Irish Catholic family with alcoholism, father a genius-level but possibly autistic, rigid, and emotionally walled. Andrews explores their courtship and marriage, revealing her mother’s miscarriages and the quiet dysfunction that shaped their family.
Brief memories of early childhood in East Syracuse, including her brother’s fall down the basement stairs. The fire-and-brimstone priest terrifies her. At four, the family moves to Huntsville, Alabama, for her father’s aerospace career—a move that excites her but unsettles her mother.
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard
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Explore what our readers discover within these pages—a courageous journey through childhood trauma, abuse, chronic illness, and the slow, hopeful path toward healing and self-compassion.
I’ve read many trauma memoirs, but this one resonated most deeply. Andrews captures the confusion of being raised by parents who look perfect to outsiders but leave invisible wounds. Her recovery journey is realistic and inspiring. A powerful, necessary book.
READER
This book gave me words for feelings I’ve carried my whole life. Andrews explains complex trauma in accessible language while sharing her personal story with remarkable vulnerability. I’ve recommended it to everyone in my support group. A lifeline.
READER
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