About the Book
About the Book
Small Cruelties
Small Cruelties is a searing memoir of survival and slow healing. Mary Dawn Andrews traces her journey from a childhood marked by emotionally immature parents—an alcoholic mother and authoritarian father—through an abusive marriage, to her eventual understanding of complex trauma. With unflinching honesty, she connects the “little-t” cruelties of her upbringing to her patterns in relationships and her chronic physical illness. Drawing on psychological frameworks from Gibson, Herman, and Stark, Andrews offers both a personal testimony and a practical guide. The book’s power lies in its vulnerability: Andrews admits shame, mistakes, and ongoing struggles, yet maintains hope. It will resonate deeply with anyone who grew up feeling unseen, and offers validation that healing, however imperfect, is possible.
What's Inside the Book
Explore the lasting impact of emotionally immature parents—from childhood wounds and abusive relationships through chronic illness to eventual healing, self-compassion, and hope.
Chapter 01
Andrews introduces her “perfectly normal” family—religious, respectable, free-range childhood. But beneath appearances, her mother’s volatility and father’s emotional distance create confusion. She questions why her parents seem to dislike her, sensing something deeply wrong despite their “right” image.
Chapter 02
Portrays her parents’ backgrounds: mother from a large Irish Catholic family with alcoholism, father a genius-level but possibly autistic, rigid, and emotionally walled. Andrews explores their courtship and marriage, revealing her mother’s miscarriages and the quiet dysfunction that shaped their family.
Chapter 03
Brief memories of early childhood in East Syracuse, including her brother’s fall down the basement stairs. The fire-and-brimstone priest terrifies her. At four, the family moves to Huntsville, Alabama, for her father’s aerospace career—a move that excites her but unsettles her mother.